Our Story

This is our story (in a very small nutshell).  G and I have been married for over 19 years.  We were high school sweet hearts and got married the Christmas after we graduated.  We were young, stupid and in love!  We knew that we always wanted to have children (3 in fact) but we were young and we had time.  Funny thing about time…our timing is never God’s timing. 

When I was 30 years old we decided that we were finally “ready” to start a family.  We began not necessarily trying just not preventing.  After about 2 years of nothing happening we decided to seek help.  I went to see my OB/GYN and started charting and using ovulation predictor kits to time ovulation.  After 6 months we saw that I was not ovulating at all.  Back to my GYN; we started doing blood tests and using Clomid to try and induce ovulation.  Again 6 months went by and still no signs of ovulation.  I started having some physical issues so my GYN decided to do a D&C and a hysteroscopy to see what was going on.  Great news…she found a small polyp in my uterus.  This could be it…this could be the reason I’m not ovulating.  G and I were so happy we may finally have our answer to our infertility.  Every time there is a surgery and something is removed from your body the doctor always sends it off for pathology to review.  No big deal…right?  Little did I know that our world was about to be flipped upside down.

It was our 15th wedding anniversary and I got the call.  Dr. R called and said, “I have your pathology report and I need you to come in.”  WHAT?   I pulled myself together enough to get to the doctor’s office.  I sat in the empty room waiting for the doctor; waiting for the dreaded news that I knew was coming.  “I think that you have uterine cancer,” Dr. R said.  I could see her lips moving, but could not really hear the words coming out of her mouth.  I was 34 years old and planning to have a baby, now I am looking at being childless and having a hysterectomy.  So many things rush through your mind when faced with your own illness.  What do you mean I am sick?  I don’t feel sick.  What about children?  What about a life with my husband?  Am I going to die?  The wave of emotions is overwhelming and I felt like my world was coming to an abrupt end.  So now what?

I was referred to Dr. B, a renowned GYN Oncologist, to review my options and to get a second opinion.  When I met her I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me to be.  She said, “Well it is a good thing you came to me.  If you had gone to some of those gray haired old men you would be having a hysterectomy…no question.”   After more blood tests and a MRI she confirmed that I had stage 1 uterine cancer and we were free to try other treatment options.  After 10 months of hormone treatments, 3 biopsies and 2 D&Cs I was officially cancer free and able to move on to fertility treatments to try and have the family we had been dreaming about.

In October 2010 I was referred to Dr. L, a premier Reproductive Endocrinologist, to begin fertility treatments.  We started slow with an oral medication for cancer patients to try and induce ovulation…no such luck.  Next approach was FSH injections.  In December 2010, to everyone’s surprise, I was pregnant.  I was absolutely shocked!  Sadly on New Year’s Day 2011, I lost the baby at 6 weeks.  Because of the cancer history we decided to move quickly onto more fertility treatments.  We did two more tries with FSH injections…two more failures.  We decided to up the ante and moved on to FSH injections with IUI…three more failures.  We were out of money and beginning to feel hopeless.  In August 2011, we decided to take some time off to allow us to mentally and financially regroup. 

In January 2012 we moved on to IVF.  We had mediocre success with the follicle growth and egg retrieval.  We had nine follicles and five grade A eggs retrieved.  Four of the eggs fertilized and we were able to transfer two very high quality embryos and freeze two for later (our next child we thought).  Sadly, this cycle ended in a chemical pregnancy.  We decided to go ahead and do the FET the following month.  Both embryos survived the thaw, but did not implant.  We were now out of embryos, low on money and hope.  After much thought, prayer and conversations with Dr. L we decided to go back to IUI since it was less invasive, cheaper and less stressful.  1st try…no luck.  We wavered back and forth should we try again or just move on.  We still felt like God was leading us down this path so we decided to try again…SUCCESS!!!  We were pregnant again.  Everything seemed perfect.  My Beta was good and my progesterone was good.  This was our keeper.  Sadly the numbers were not going up like they should and we were told we were going to lose the baby.  At 6 ½ weeks we suffered a miscarriage and once again our hopes were dashed. 

After receiving counseling and grieving the loss of all of our miscarriages we once again turned to God for guidance.  We continued to meet with Dr. M and Dr. L to work through our feelings and decide what we wanted to do going forward.  We felt we were being led to continue with IUIs for a while longer.  We did four more cycles all of which were unsuccessful. 

So where did that leave us?  After a lot of internal struggle, conversations with G, Dr. L and Dr. M, we felt that our hearts had been changed and we moved on to starting the process for domestic adoption.  We decided that we wanted to be parents far more than we wanted to be pregnant and adoption was the way we were going to grow our family.  I struggled with the idea of preventing a pregnancy but because of my cancer history it was necessary for me to have some sort of medical assistance to insure that I was having normal cycles.  I talked with Dr. L and decided we would take a shot in the dark and try Metformin to see if that would help regulate my cycles without the use of birth control. I knew that it was unlikely we would ever get pregnant on our own, but I felt better moving forward with adoption knowing that I was not preventing a pregnancy either.  In January 2013 we began the adoption process and started researching agencies in the U.S.  We chose our agency and completed all the required paperwork for our home study in February.  We had one interview left with our social worker when I realized that I did not have a period that month.  With my history I was sure that the medicine just wasn't working and was inevitably going to have to go back to using birth control.  I had one pregnancy test left in the closet that I just couldn't bring myself to throw out when we ended our fertility treatments. I decided to tell G that I was late and that I was going to take the test the next morning.  We laughed knowing that there was no way I was pregnant, on my own, after just 2 months. It was 6 am and I had to go to the bathroom. I was barely awake when I remembered that I still needed to take the test. Eyes half open, fumbling with the wrapper, I held it long enough to pee on that one last stick.  There they were...two bright pink lines!  Yep, after six years of trying to have a baby, both on our own and with medical assistance, we were pregnant and this little guy turned out to be our keeper!  I gave birth to baby J in October 2014 and he is our greatest blessing,

This is our journey of struggles, losses and how we finally saw it through to completion!  This is my mission 2 B a mom!!!


1 comment:

  1. You two have been through so much. Your strength is amazing!

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