It's still very surreal to say I am 30 weeks pregnant! Seriously, as I type this and see 30 weeks in print it doesn't seem real. I had mentioned in my last post how my past experiences have paralyzed me during this pregnancy. It has been very difficult to shift my mindset and allow myself to enjoy my pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of my little squirt. It has literally taken me 6 months to realize that he is very real and will be here in no time. This transformation has not come without the love and support of my friends and family. They have been very gracious in letting me deal with the transition in my own way and in my own time. In the last month we have completed all of our prenatal classes, created baby registries, scheduled my shower, ordered furniture and thanks to G and our amazing friends painted the nursery (which is more amazing than I could have ever hoped for!). I can't believe I am more than 2/3 through my pregnancy and he will be in my arms so soon!
I was recently messaging back and forth with my friend who reminded me of something she had said to me last year after my last miscarriage. "Just keep swimming!" After talking with her I went and reread the blog I had written last September to see what I was feeling at that time. It's amazing the difference a year makes and just how true that simple statement is in not just infertility but life. I remember so well those feelings of depression, yearning and feeling like I was losing hope. She made me remember why we were going through all of this and how our perseverance would pay off in the future. I can honestly say I wasn't sure how or if we would ever get to this point but I knew I just had to keep swimming. Let me tell you, we have been swimming against the current but I wouldn't change a minute of those struggles because of the miracle that is growing inside me. As I feel those little kicks and jabs I know this journey has been worth it! Just keep swimming and remember some way some how you will get there!