In the six plus years G and I have been trying to grow our family we have heard the gamut of "helpful" tips from friends and loved ones. Maybe you're just trying to hard; just relax and it will happen. Maybe this isn't God's plan for you. Why don't you just adopt? As soon as my friend adopted they got pregnant. Though nine times out of ten these comments are meant to be helpful or supportive in reality they are truly hurtful. In the infertile world they really have become a list of running jokes when it comes to conception.
As soon as we started the process to adopt it was like a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. All those comments actually became a little funny to us. I can remember the first month after our last failed cycle looking at G and laughing because we had just relaxed and I still wasn't pregnant. I even emailed back and forth with Dr. L joking about how I couldn't believe that I still wasn't pregnant when I had quit trying. I told him I was sure that the next month it would happen. Little did I know when I typed those words what was in store for us. God decided to give us the shock of our lives. I truly never thought that I would be saying this but, I ACCIDENTALLY GOT PREGNANT. Yep, you read that right...I am pregnant! While in the middle of our home study process G and I found out, to our complete and utter surprise, that we were again expecting. The only thing we could do was laugh.
When G and I decided to stop fertility treatments and move on to adoption it was one of the hardest decisions we ever had to make. It was very difficult for me to take the leap and give up having a biological child forever knowing that I had been able to conceive in the past. With my cancer history it is important for me to have regulated cycles to decrease the chances of a recurrence and I was not ready to have that dreaded hysterectomy. I didn't want to completely shut the door on conceiving a biological child so as a last ditch effort I asked Dr. L for anything he could do to try and help regulate my cycles without birth control. We decided to try Metformin knowing that it could take 3-6 months to work, if it would even work at all. After my first month of taking the medication I had a normal cycle. Hooray, for once in my life I felt normal. The next month nothing. I was now what a "fertile" would call 3 days late. I laughed and told G that I was late, knowing that our chances of conceiving on our own were slim to none. I had one pregnancy test left and decided to take it just to rule out the possibility. Sure that it would be negative I peed on that stick laughing the entire time. To my absolute shock there was a second line! Are you kidding me? 26 months of fertility treatments, tens of thousands of dollars, and lots of loss and heartache later we are pregnant on our own! It has not been an easy path but we are officially moving into the second trimester and our little squirt is doing great.
After months of data gathering, background checks and social worker interviews we our proud to report that we have completed our home study and are waiting on our final legal documents. This journey has taught us so much over the last several years and it has made us realize just how precious life is. G and I have always wanted a big family and feel that we could provide a loving home to any child and have decided that we still want to adopt. We are continuing with the adoption process and will begin working with an attorney locally as opposed to going through an agency. I guess we will have our big family after all...just not quite the path we thought we would take to fill our home.
We feel so very blessed and excited about our future! Thanks for the love and support over the last few months and understanding our delay in sharing our news!