We were very blessed to be able to go through two plus years of fertility treatments and never have to use credit cards or take on a loan. There were numerous times we were financially tapped and had no clue where the money for the next cycle was going to come from. Then out of the blue rebates, refunds, friends, family and even my amazing nurse J would appear and offer us exactly what we needed at that moment. It has been a very emotional and humbling experience for me.
I was raised by a single mother and learned to be very independent and self-sufficient. I guess you can say it is a trait that G not only loves but despises about me. He says I would give the shirt off my back and the last dollar in my wallet to help someone in need but refuse to ask or accept help from others. He's right...I've never been one to ask for help; especially if I think I can do it on my own. When I was diagnosed with cancer I withdrew from the world. I didn't want to admit that I was sick and needed support, not even from G. After the cancer was gone and we were starting fertility treatments I didn't want to admit I needed Dr. L's help and was very hesitant to move on to more advanced treatments. I was adamant that I was not going to do IUIs let alone IVF; that was just too much assistance (now I just laugh about everything we've done). After my last miscarriage I didn't want to admit that I needed Dr. M’s help to get through that loss; all of our losses. My entire fertility journey has been filled with me not wanting to ask for help so why would my adoption one be any different?
Since we made the announcement of our plans to adopt my email and phone have been filled with messages of support and questions of how people can help. G and I are just in awe of the kindness. I have been struggling with the idea of help and the feeling that allowing others to contribute made me a burden. After a conversation with a dear friend, in which she politely put me in my place, I realized that I was taking away the ability for others to choose whether or not they want to help. If I did not allow them the chance then I was denying them the ability to choose. So it is with a very humble heart that we are opening up our adoption journey to allow others to offer their support.
We have created a couple of ways for people to contribute. If you feel moved to help, check out the How Can I Help? page of our blog for more information! Thanks again for all the kindness and support you have shown G and I!.