Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Not From Russia with Love

I can’t believe it but this is my 100th post.  I guess I am even more surprised that you people are still reading my questionably sane ramblings.  I am truly thankful for the love and support you have shown to G and I over the last several months.  They definitely have not been the easiest but writing has helped ease the pain.  I guess that brings about the question of what in the world am I going to write about to commemorate number 100?  Then it came to me!

G & I are currently exploring our options for growing our family and have seriously been discussing the possibility of moving to adoption.  We have started sharing that possibility with people as we struggle to make the decision.  The response and support has been amazing from everyone…well almost everyone.  I really never thought about the stupidity of people’s comments spilling over from infertility into adoption, but there they were. 

After talking about our struggle with making the leap a friend recommended a book about adoption.  While we were out one day we decided to quickly run into the bookstore and order the book.  I’m not real sure why I didn’t learn my lesson before while trying to find a book on infertility at Barnes & Noble a few months back, but apparently I didn’t.  I went to the information desk and asked the associate if she could order the book, “The Adoption Decision.”  Her response to me was “Not from Russia you won’t.”  Uhm, are you kidding me?  Did that really just come out of her mouth?  I turned to look at G, whose mouth was on the ground, to confirm that she did indeed just say that.  I was floored!  Why would you say anything like that to someone when you have no clue what their situation is?  Really is it ever appropriate to say something like that?

Had that been my only questionable comment I probably wouldn’t have thought much about it, but no, that was not the only negative response.  While talking about the obstacles and my fears with adoption I was told, “I heard it’s really hard to adopt a white baby and you will have to wait a very long time.”  Once again I was floored and not real sure how to respond.  First of all, if I am blessed to be a mother I have no concerns about the color of my baby’s skin as long as it is healthy.  Second of all, you have no clue where we are going to adopt from, so race may not be a factor period.  Lastly…IT IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHAT COLOR MY BABY IS!!!  Unless you plan on funding my adoption keep your comments to yourself.

If I am really lucky maybe while I am trying to make this decision I will get the comments, “God has a plan” or “My sister adopted and then got pregnant”.   

10 comments:

  1. No sweetie, those are never appropriate to say. People are ignorant. I am glad that you can make light of it! ((Hugs))

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  2. I think you will get the "I know X and she got pregnant as soon as they adopted." Stupid people are everywhere. And stupid people have an opinion on everything.

    ((hugs))

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  3. I think stupid people make their opinions more known. You are doing great! I know you will be a great mom no matter whcih way you go.

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  4. People can be such idiots. I am praying for your decision and your baby!

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  5. People can be so insensitive! Glad you have a good attitude about it.

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  6. People are such arses hun! Eff 'em! You have the best attitude. I love your blog you are such an inspiration to so many. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. You give us hope! ((hugs))

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  7. Can't wait to hear your decision. Think you will be a great mom.

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  8. At the risk of being one of those people whose comments are deemed "insensitive" and/or "inappropriate", I want to tell you how very touching your journey is. I am not one to read up on someone's latest blog (just because I find it boring and useless) but I have found myself tearing up while catching up on your latest "rants" sometimes! :) Without a doubt your story has been, and continues to be, an inspiration to A LOT of people! However you finally receive your little bundle of joy, the little booger will definitely know he/she is loved by two of the proudest parents to ever be called parents. Looking forward to your updates and keeping you guys in my prayers.

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    1. I am not sure who you are that wrote this comment, but I truly appreciate your comments. It is so difficult going through all of this and I often wonder if I am making a difference to anyone by writing this blog. Thank you for letting me know that it does matter and thanks for the prayers and support!

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    2. You're so welcome! It's the least I can do. :-)

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