Sunday, January 20, 2013

Is Being a Mother More Important than Being Pregnant?


Often there are medical reasons that cause a doctor to recommend an end to fertility treatments, forcing a couple to explore other options for growing their family.  At the same time there are many couples who must wrestle with making those decisions without that medical recommendation.  It doesn’t matter if you have done 4 cycles of the same treatment or 24 cycles of various treatments, when you fail to successfully bring a baby home questions begin to flood your mind.  How much money are we willing to spend trying to have a biological child?  How many heartbreaking failures can you and your partner endure?  Are you emotionally strong enough to continue with treatments knowing that you may never have a successful pregnancy?  You begin to wonder when enough is enough.

I always thought Dr. L would be my beacon when it came to saying it was time to stop.  I thought he would be the one telling us it was time to explore those other options.  I however, fall into the category of no medical reason to stop and no medical reason for my miscarriages.  So the decision falls to me to decide; can we handle more treatments emotionally and financially or is it time to move on.  This journey can be filled with tons of regret, "what ifs" and "should haves".  We constantly question if we don’t do one more cycle would that have been the one that would have given us our miracle.  It's very easy to "one more try" yourself to death if you are not careful.  I have continued treatments far longer than I ever thought possible in an effort to avoid the regret, grief, pain and loss of not reaching that end goal of carrying a child to term. 

It has been a while since our last failed cycle and G and I have been battling with the decision to continue fertility treatments or move to adoption.  We have found ourselves at the crossroad of facts and emotions and it is a difficult place to be and the decision has not been made lightly!  After a lot of internal struggle I realized that the choice really comes down to one question… Is being a mother more important than being pregnant?  I had to ponder this question for a while and my answer is a resounding YES!  My desire to be a mother far outweighs my desire to be pregnant.  So as I type this, today G and I are beyond excited to announce that we are officially moving on to adoption.  We are beginning the home study process and researching the best agency for us.  There are so many new fears when it comes to this journey, but we continue to have faith that all our needs will be met as we take this leap! 

We have not given up, but have chosen to redefine our original dreams and embrace the future with hope for that little one that is coming our way!  We ask that you continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we work to bring OUR BABY home!

21 comments:

  1. So exciting! Praying for you as you embark on this journey!

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  2. Congrats! So excited to follow your blog as you go on this journey. One of my high school friends is on this journey right now after not being able to get pregnant. Her blog is http://ourflyfamily.blogspot.com/.

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  3. So excited for you on this next step!

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  4. So exciting!!! You guys will be awesome parents!

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  5. So happy for you guys! Your baby is going to be so lucky to have you 2!

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  6. Praying for you! So excited to hear your decision!

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  7. Good on you making such a hard decision. Good luck with the adoption process!

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  8. I know this was such a hard decision to make. Congrats! So excited for you!

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  9. I know there is a very special baby out there that will be so blessed to call you mommy! So happy for you Hun!

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  10. Oh sweetie, how exciting!

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  11. So exciting! You know all your followers will be with you every step of the way! Can't wait to follow your journey!

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  12. So excited for you! Will be here with you every step of the way!

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  13. Know your twitter friends are by your side if you need anything! So very exciting for you guys!

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  14. Hey Chrissy, It's Cori and Heather's mom and as an adoptive parent I wanted to let you know that i am so happy you are going to go that route. I can tell you that Your feeling toward the child you adopt will be overwhelming and you will realize that it doesn't matter that you did not bear the child. The love is there and you will know that is your child. I love my adopted children as much as the other children. I never would tell people which children were adopted and which were biological. I did not want them treated any different that anyone else. I know you will be a great mom and i know this is the right way for you. congratulations on your decision and i hope it doesn't take to long. we are here for you and we love you. Marcia Winfrey

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  15. What a heartfelt touching post! So excited for you & G!

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  16. Awesome post! So excited for you! We might be in the same boat as you if my next cycle fails! ((Hugs))

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  17. So excited for you! The unknown is always scary. (((Hugs))) I'm anxious to follow your new journey!

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  18. oh sweetie... I'm so thrilled for you. Can't wait for this new journey to get started! I am here every step of the way.

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  19. So excited honey! Here for you how ever I can support you!

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  20. Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!!!

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