Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Adoption is Not a Consolation Prize!

I am not going to lie, as a child and into the early part of my marriage when I thought of children they were biologically related; that is until my cancer diagnosis. It was at that moment that we first began to think that our children might not be biologically linked after all. That was the first time that we really started to consider growing our family in other ways. We have always been open to the idea of adoption and actually researched and explored it several times during our infertility struggles. However, after three positive pregnancy tests it became more difficult to consider other resources while we knew I could get pregnant. Over the last couple of years we exhausted all options when it came to having a biological child which has led us to the next journey in expanding our family.

G and I were at a large gathering this past weekend and shared with several people that we were starting the adoption process. I was a little taken aback by the response. Not so much the words that were said because I truly believe that they were happy for us, it was more the tone and body language. It was very reminiscent of the responses we received after our miscarriages. Heads titled, voices with that sorrowful sound, hand holding and back rubbing as we were told that they were happy we were moving on. It was as if our having a biological child was the true victory and our adopting was a consolation prize.

G has always told me that I had more love to give than any person he has ever met. He says that my ability to befriend, nurture and love others is why he believes that I will be an amazing mother. He’s right about my desire to love and nurture; it is so great that I have to be a mother. (I don’t know so much about the amazing mother part, but let’s go with that.) Whether our child is biologically linked or not it will always know just how loved it is no matter how it comes into our family! Adoption is not my consolation prize it is merely the path that we are taking to share our hearts and love with OUR CHILD!  I truly can not wait to meet him or her!

7 comments:

  1. For the longest time, well--all my life, I thought I would have biological children. After two miscarriages, we started talking about fostering to adopt. For a while I felt like fostering is the best I can do--you know, with a sour attitude and all. But, now that I have had time to think about it an analyze our lives, I see adoption as a huge blessing. One that doesn't come just because we can't have our own children, but because God is trusting us with other people's children. What an honor. That he would choose US to parent other people's children.

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  2. You are going to be an amazing mom

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  3. When a child becomes yours, how they came into your life has no bearing what so ever on how you feel about it! It is your baby, and you will love it as wholly and fiercely as a child that is born to you! So excited for you!!!

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  4. I am so excited for this journey you are on hun! Wishing you so much love and luck! xxx

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  5. So so happy for you! You ARE going to be an AMAZING mom!!!

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