Wednesday, December 19, 2012

What's in a Feeling?

Miriam-Webster defines feeling as easily moved emotionally; deeply felt; expressing emotion or sensitivity. I am a woman so I am naturally emotional, but throw in infertility and there is no telling what you will get.  My infertility has caused feelings of fear, sadness, depression, anger, anxiety, joy, determination, perseverance and maybe a little neurosis.

We all have feelings but it’s how we express them that varies from person to person.  G tends to bury them deep down where they can’t be seen by the world.  He’s definitely been known to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand when it comes to dealing with his emotions.  I on the other hand, have never been very good at hiding my feelings and tend to wear them on my sleeve.  As much as I would love to hide my feelings from the world at times its not a skill I have been able to master.  I guess you can say I have been emotional since birth.

G has long since said I was an empath and have the ability to empathize with anyone no matter the circumstance.  I can feel the pain, sorrow, joy and excitement of others.  This ability is both a blessing and a curse.  While on this journey I have had my fair share of trials, losses and a myriad of emotions to accompany them.  To my surprise, because of those feelings and afflictions I have been able to offer support to others suffering infertility or miscarriage. The draw back to that is I begin to take on their emotions myself and end up feeling their pain as well as reliving my own…Talk about overload!

I don’t regret my trials because they have helped shape me into the person I am today.  They’ve made me stronger, more compassionate and more determined.  I know that because of those trials and the feelings they have conjured in me that I have the ability to make it to the end of this journey and I will become a mother!

2 comments:

  1. Just when I think you can not be any stronger I read another post...you are an amazing woman and pray that you will get to have your bio baby very soon!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are such a wonderful support to so many!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment! I review and approve all comments to help cut down on spam and inappropriate material. Your comment will be visable shortly! Thanks!

C