Monday, December 3, 2012

For Better or For Worse

For better or worse…those are the vows said at many a wedding.  I am sure when you say these words and picture the worse, infertility never crosses your mind.  I’m here to tell you that infertility would definitely be in the “worse” category.  Even the strongest of relationships can start to come unglued when infertility drags on.  It is all encompassing and begins to become the topic of every conversation.  Your daily routines begin to revolve around doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, injections, inseminations, egg retrievals, transfers and pregnancy tests.  Not to mention the toll it takes on your bank account.  We all know that finances have long been a stressor in marriages, throw in infertility and you’re just asking for problems.

Infertility is more than just the inability to have a child. For some women it defines who they are. It causes anxiety, depression and wreaks havoc on your self-worth.  It can end marriages, friendships, and family relationships.  The fear of isolation, judgment and emotional wreckage often cause couples to suffer in silence.  In a time where couples need support the most, societal discrimination prevents them from reaching out. Despite the increasing numbers of those affected by infertility it still remains a taboo subject.  The topic can quickly bring a conversation to a halt and empty a room in no time.  According to the American Fertility Association and the CDC 6.1 million women and 4.7 million men require some sort of medical help to create a family.  To bring it a little closer to home, if you and your spouse were out to dinner with 8 other couples, one of those couples would struggle with infertility.  1 in 8 couples…that’s insane!

Having just learned that I am once again not pregnant "for better or worse" is echoing loudly in my head.  G and I have surely experienced our fair share of the "worse" over the last few years.  Each time I thought this is the worst thing that has ever happened to us something else comes along causing deeper wounds than the previous.  Every failed cycle reopens those wounds and allows them to fester again.  These are the times that G shows the "better".  He reminds me over and over again just how much I am loved and that we are on this journey together.  As I lay there crying in his lap over my negative cycle he strokes my hair, reassures me that I will have my baby one day soon and reminds me that "better" far outweighs the "worse"!

8 comments:

  1. I am so sorry honey! Still praying for your little one!

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  2. I love this and it is so true!

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  3. You two seem to have such a strong marriage! You deserve to have a baby!

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  4. IF is DEFINITELY in the worse category of marriage!

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  5. This is so great. IF has really put a strain on our marriage. Its nice to see that you and your DH has such a strong marriage.

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  6. I don't think people realize just how hard IF is and how many people suffer with it. It is a gift that so many take for granted.

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  7. Your ability to share and be so honest is amazing to me. I admire your strength and am sorry that this time wasn't successful!

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C