G and I did this study a long time ago called “Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti”. I’m sure several of you are having that aha moment as you read this visualizing your mate and how they relate to their environment. The premise of the book is that women are like spaghetti in that everything they see, think about or do is all intertwined. We can see a dog walking down the street and be reminded that we need to pick up hotdogs from the store. Men are like waffles in that they compartmentalize everything and can only be in one box at a time. We watch football and that is all he is thinking about while I'm reminded that I need new tennis shoes. Men also have this uncanny ability to think about nothing. I know, hard to believe, NOTHING. I would love to have the ability to think about nothing, but unfortunately I can not shut anything down. My mind races all the time (it’s amazing I ever get any sleep).
I have never been a person that does well with being still. I can’t sit for long periods of time without having something to do (which absolutely drives G crazy). I need to be doing something all the time to keep my mind engaged or it begins to wander to things that I would rather not think about. When you're at a crossroads and your every thought is about infertility, waiting or the miscarriage, you have to find ways to cope or the insanity over takes you.
You can’t tell your mind to stop thinking about something because that is all you will ever think about. However, you can redirect your mind to something else for a while. It has been so important for me to find ways to distract myself from my struggles and have a little joy in my life. Don’t get me wrong I can’t always achieve that distraction and will still have those meltdowns but at least I am finding some peace during this wild ride!
Limit those occasions where you are left to ponder your situation and find distractions you enjoy to take your mind off of things. Most times I double my efforts to keep those negative thoughts from creeping back in. If we’re watching movies I have to be playing on my IPad. If I’m reading I have to be listening to music. I spend a lot of time baking because it keeps my hands and mind busy. Remember those things you love that may have been put to the side because of your circumstances and find some joy while your waiting.