Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Going Dark

Halloween has long since been a beloved holiday of children and adults alike.  It is the one time of year when it is socially acceptable for women to dress in their underwear and children to take candy from strangers; no one even bats an eye.  For infertiles, it is a dreaded holiday.  I know it might seem odd to you that Halloween would be a trigger but if you take a minute to think about it you will see why.

Picture it.  The streets are covered with adorable little tykes all decked out as princesses, ballerinas, super heroes, cowboys and pirates.  They come strolling up to your door with their flashlights, glow sticks and little pumpkins as they shout out the words trick or treat.   Some are barely able to speak, some are missing their two front teeth and some are just rambunctious little boys, but whatever they are…they’re not yours.

Halloween has always been one of G’s favorite times of year.  For me it has never really meant much until my cancer diagnosis.  The thought of not being able to dress my daughter up as her favorite cartoon character or G and our son play sword fighting as we walk down the street has turned this seemingly inconsequential holiday into a night of darkness.  That’s right we’re going dark.  We have decided to avoid the trick-or-treaters like the plague.  We are turning off all the lights, hiding up stairs and watching scary movies away from all the horrors of our infertility!  Happy Halloween!


  1. I have been having the same feelings. Thought I was just being stupid to feel so sad about Halloween!

  2. Thanks so much for saying this. I was struggling because I did not want to see my sister's kids or her pregnant belly dressed as a pumpkin!


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