Sunday, September 9, 2012

Trusting Even in the Hard Times

In our lives we all go through trials, some more difficult than others.  During those times it's easy for us to question and wonder why we have to suffer through trials.  What have we done to deserve this?  Why am I being punished?  I think it's common for those experiencing  the trials of infertility and miscarriage to ask these questions and they can really test a person’s faith.  I know that I have on multiple occasions. 

G and I have been asked repeatedly, “How do you still believe in God when He has allowed “good” people to suffer through so much?”  Honestly, that is a difficult question and I have really had to ponder it.  I have been in the depths of despair several times over the last 4 years.  There have been days that I have questioned what kind of God would allow me to suffer all that I have.  Why a 16 year old girl would be a better mother than I would?  Why would God allow a child to be brought into an abusive home?  How are these things fair and just?

I don’t have an answer to these questions.  However, having faith means believing when there is no visible proof.  I believe that God healed me to have a child.  Yes, we know that I can get pregnant; it is the carrying the baby to term that seems to be the problem.  There is no proof that I can accomplish this goal, but I have faith.  I believe that with God all things are possible if you have faith of a mustard seed.  God puts people in place to help his plans come to fruition and for me that is Dr. L.  With his help I have faith that I will be a mother! 

The bible tells us that our God is a loving and merciful God, even when he allows trials and sufferings to come in our lives.  (James 1:2-8 NIV)*  I believe that our sufferings are a means of developing a stronger dependence on God and a more Christ-like character.  I have grown in leaps and bounds over the last 4 years.  My faith is deeper, my marriage is impenetrable and I have more strength than I could have ever imagined.  Don’t get me wrong, I wish I would have never had to suffer any of these trials, but I don’t regret them because of what I have gained. 

I guess what it all boils down to is…faith.  What do you believe in?  Who do you put your trust in?  Even in those times that I am hurting I can still turn to God.  I will yell, cry and question, but I am still talking to Him.  I know that in the end the blessings that are coming my way are greater than anything I could have imagined.   “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV)

*James 1:2-8   Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

1 comment:

  1. Your faith is so apparent in your writing. You are an inspiration to so many. How you are able to continue is amazing to me. We will be praying for you!


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