9. You just have to have sex when you are ovulating and you will get pregnant – Think again; I’ve tried before, during and after and yet to bring home that baby!
8. If you relax you will get pregnant – Nope; Acupuncture, meditation, yoga and massage…still no baby!
7. It only takes 1 egg and 1 sperm to get pregnant – Try again; I have had literally dozens upon dozens of eggs chased down by hundreds of millions of sperm.
6. “Just take cough syrup, which is how my cousin got pregnant.” – False; I have downed bottles of Robitussin and still nothing. Apparently it requires more expensive drugs to conceive.
5. Just get a bottle of Boones Farm and she’ll get pregnant – Once again not true; it takes more than a $6 bottle of cheap wine to conceive. It apparently takes a specialized doctor, injectable medications, a slew of nurses and lab technicians and I forgot to mention tens of thousands of dollars!
4. The letters and pictures at the fertility clinic are their success stories – I don’t think so; they are paid actors.
3. Conceiving a child is a beautiful experience between a husband and wife – Wrong; it is a highly invasive and intrusive procedure between you, your nurse, your doctor, the lab techs, the receptionist and your husband!
2. Any idiot can get pregnant – OK, this may be true…maybe I’m just not dumb enough!
1. Having sex leads to pregnancy – That’s crap; I don’t even think that is possible!