G and I were talking the other day and he said that sometimes all of this seems more like “Mission Impossible!” I totally got what he was saying. Honestly, at this point I don’t know that I can count how many cycles we have gone through to try and have a baby. They have all started to turn into one big blur with a few miscarriages thrown in. At times, it seems like the odds aren’t in our favor and those chances are slipping away. Just when we think that this is “Mission Impossible”, just when we think we are at the lowest point and we can’t move forward, something happens to change our view.
After my cancer was gone I was sure that it would be impossible for me to conceive a child and two months later I was pregnant; proof to everyone that I was able to conceive. After the first miscarriage I was sure it was impossible that my cancer was still gone and almost two years later I am still cancer free. After my failed IVF and FET I was sure it was impossible that I would ever conceive again…three months later I was pregnant.
We have had so many cycles that have failed and a few that have had some success, but the other part of the impossible seems to be the financial piece. There have been so many times that we thought we were going to have to call it quits because we were out of money; then out of nowhere enough money to cover each cycle would appear unexpectedly. Our children better be smart or athletic; they are going to have to get some scholarships to go to college because we have already spent their tuition just trying to conceive them!!!
My point is all those things that try to make us believe that this is mission impossible have gotten debunked at some point of this journey. So I continue to hope and pray that we will be a success because with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26 ESV)* I believe that I will conceive again and carry that little miracle to term. I look forward to the day that I get to end the blog with “Mission Accomplished!”
*Matthew 19:26 ESV - But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”