I was recently asked how I was able to write about my own experiences and be so honest. It has actually taken me a while to be able to talk openly about our trials. I spent so much time blaming myself and feeling responsible for our infertility that I wanted to hide from the world and keep our problems to ourselves. If no one knew that our lives weren’t perfect then I couldn’t be judged. So what was it that changed our minds? A LOT!
The first nudge to get out of our comfort zone came in March of this year. A friend suggested that we talk to Richmond Magazine for the Top Doc issue about my doctors and what I have gone through with trying to have a family. I went back and forth so many times trying to decide if I wanted to actually share my “private” life with the public. I told G that I just couldn’t do it…I couldn’t have people judging me. He suggested that I continue to pray about it and talk to my pastor, doctors and family. After numerous conversations and encouragement I finally decided that God was telling me to get out of my own way and to tell our story. We felt like if sharing our situation could help 1 person then that would be worth it.
2 Corinthians 1:4 (NIV)*
2 Corinthians 1:4 (NIV)*
The next nudge came after my last miscarriage. After that heartbreaking loss we finally decided to be more open and share our story with our church family. We began to receive a lot of support and learn that we were not alone. So many people began to share their own experiences and talked about how impressed they were with our strength and faith. We were constantly being told that we needed to share with others and write about our story. You should write a book...Me write a book? You should write a blog...Me write a blog? Are you kidding me? Who would ever want to listen to anything that I would have to say? Why would people read the ramblings of a half crazy hormonal woman?
One day I came home from work and G says go to blog.mission2bamom.com. There it was…the last nudge. My own husband was telling me that I needed to write about our life. He told me to be honest and just write about whatever comes to my mind. So that brings us to today. We have received amazing support from friends, family and total strangers. We are getting questions, comments and thanks for our openness. Hearing the positive responses is why I am able to be so open. My goal is to inform and educate about infertility, miscarriage and adoption. If I can show others that they are not alone on this difficult journey and give an ounce of hope then I can find the strength to continue to be honest in my writing.
*2 Corinthians 1:4 (NIV) He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.