Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It’s Just a Mountain

We all have obstacles in our paths that are so large and so daunting that they seem insurmountable, especially those experiencing infertility.  I know for us it has really felt like we were at the bottom of the mountain looking up at a peak that is higher than we could ever reach.  At times it has felt as if we were in the deepest valley with no hopes of ever making it back to flat ground let alone reach the top of that mountain.

I try so hard to remain positive during these treatments, but to be honest that is getting harder and harder.  I have really had to reaffirm my faith repeatedly over the last several years.  G and I have joked that our lives have resembled that of Job on many occasions.  If it can go wrong it is going to happen to me!  The list of things that we have experienced outside of infertility is almost comical at this point. So how do we continue on this journey when the odds are stacking up against us?  How do we continue to believe that we can have our family when we have suffered through so much?

Without mountains in the way, our faith would never be put to the test.  These obstacles or mountains are God’s way of refining our faith and allowing us to show its true value to the world.  The closer we draw to Him, through faith, the more our faith strengthens.  God tells us, “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Matthew 21:22)  The problem with having faith is we know that there is still going to be pain and time involved.   We all want our obstacles to move immediately and having to rely on God in his time is difficult.  My time is not God’s time.  What seems like an eternity to me is a mere second to God.  I think we all could use a little perfecting when it comes to waiting on the Lord. 

I know all of this is easy to say but harder to put into practice.  We live in an “I want it now kind of world”.  When things do not go quite the way we envisioned we become discouraged and begin to doubt our beliefs.  I am guilty of this all too often.  Even though I have questioned why God has allowed me to suffer so much I have turned even more so to him for strength.  It’s funny how my faith has strengthened over the last few years in a time when it would be so simple to turn away.  I continue to believe that He will bless us with our child.  God can do anything…it is just a mountain!

Matthew 17:20 NIV

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for writing this post! I too have struggled over the years with maintaining my faith during our infertility. It just seems so unfair at times and I know exactly how you feel. I hope that you will continue to share your feelings. You are not alone!


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