Monday, September 10, 2012
Dear Chick-fil-a Customer Service
I am writing to ask that you make some special offers to your female customers who are experiencing infertility issues. I would suggest that you offer these deals to women on the first day of their menstrual cycle to help us feel the tiniest bit better after having a breakdown that we are not pregnant! Here are some suggestions that could really add value to your menu:
The Once Again I Just Got My Period and Have No Kids Meal
This meal includes 2 large orders of trying not to cry in public waffle fries with a very high fat tub of “I don’t care how many calories are in a tablespoon” Chick-fil-a Sauce and an extra large Caffeine Free Diet Coke “because I have given up all sugar and caffeine to help with conception!” This would be my value meal of choice!
The Another Failed Cycle Cookies & Cream Shake
A delicious extremely high fat shake with an extra serving of “Screw you I am PMSing” cookie pieces blended with heartbreaking vanilla ice cream and topped with colossal amounts of whipped cream and a cherry for nutrition.
The Failed IVF Strawberry Shake
This shake is a careful blend of 2 very painful negative beta tests combined with “I just spent a crap load of money to start my period” strawberry sauce mixed with I have no more frozen embryos ice cream and topped with obscene amounts of high fat whipped cream. This one you should just give to these women for free because now they are just sad and broke!
The I am Going to Kick Infertility's Ass Banana Shake
This is an extremely decadent shake that is chocked full of faith and hope then mixed with a little acupuncture, drive and perseverance; lastly blended with bananas and light whipped cream. (Because we are back to watching what we eat to allow for the best possible chance of conception.) This is best for the day of IUI, IVF of FET.
Thank you for your consideration on these menu changes!