Friday, August 24, 2012

When Infertility Kills the Mood!

I was recently asked to talk about a topic that I know can be very sensitive for anyone going through infertility.  G and I discussed it and decided we are going to hit it head on and give you our 2 cents worth.  So here we go!
Infertility can definitely put a strain on even the strongest of marriages for many reasons including finances, stress of the procedures and intimacy.  Today we are going to talk about intimacy.  For those of us who are less than fertile myrtles we have to time everything and I do mean everything when it comes to conception.  The calendar is covered with days that you must abstain, days you must have intercourse,  normal “female” days…so that leaves what, about 4 days a month that you can be spontaneous!  Quite honestly all those things can really kill the mood.
Fertility treatments can make the process of having a child seem so clinical and intrusive.  The beauty that you imagined when conceiving your child is thrown out the window with the intimacy and romance.  I can remember when we moved on to more invasive treatments and I was sitting in Dr. L’s office before my first IUI procedure bawling my eyes out.  When he asked me what was wrong I was barely able to get the words out, “You are NOT supposed to be involved in this part of the conception!”  Writing this now I can laugh because we are SO FAR past the self-consciousness and humility involved with infertility!!!
Even if you are not going through fertility treatments those stresses are still evident and can still dampen those spontaneous extra-curricular activities.  We become so focused on trying to conceive that I think we forget the reasons for wanting the child.  We forget the person that we fell so deeply in love with that we wanted to create another being with them.  Every once in a while it is important to step back and just relax and take a break from trying to conceive.  Take a month and rekindle some of the romance with your spouse!

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