Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Trying to Eliminate the “Why?”

Infertility is riddled with “Whys?”  Why can't I get pregnant? Why did I have a miscarriage? Why can any irresponsible 16 year old girl get pregnant and I can't? Why is something that seems so simple for others so hard for me?  Quite honestly what it all comes down to is…Why me?

I often fall into the “Why me?” trap and it is one of the hardest things for me to understand during infertility or a miscarriage.  In life we all go through trials and sometimes those trials seem to be more than we can bear, so we rely on God to hold us and help us through the trials.  And yet, I don’t know how anyone could lose a child and not have at least a few questions for God.  For one, if God loves us, then why do we have to suffer?  G and I have come to the conclusion that trying to learn the “whys” of God is going to do nothing but drive us crazy.  For now, it is our goal to keep Faith and know that God WILL complete our family, however that may be! 

These words are far easier said than done.  I want to continue to have Hope and Faith, but there are days that I am doing good just to get myself out of bed and go to work.  Those are the days that I really struggle with the “Whys” and have to rely on the strength of G, friends and family to get me through.  I am very blessed to have a large support group that is happy to deal with me and my emotional outbursts!  I have continued to cling to a bible verse that has also given me comfort and strength to continue this journey.  (Hebrews 11:1 NIV) Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

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