Any woman dealing with infertility or a miscarriage knows the heartache and pain involved. Every man going through infertility or miscarriage with his wife knows the “multiple personalities” involved! (I am sure G is shaking his head fervently as he reads this post!) Let me explain what I mean by multiple personalities? You know, one day you are fine and can almost forget your treatments or loss and then in a blink of an eye you are depressed, crying and feeling hopeless!
I am the epitome of infertility induced personality disorders and you never know which one of me you are going to get these days. I can start the day refreshed, happy and relaxed and then…BAM, I do a complete 180 and am crying uncontrollably! The smallest thing can send me into a downward spiral and G has no clue what has triggered the meltdown. After this most recent loss my swings are far more prevalent than when I am just going through fertility treatments. The last week has been like a scene from Fatal Attraction and G has been a total trooper. I started with I don’t know that I can go through more treatments and a possible loss to we are going to start adopting now to we are never having children and then back to fertility treatments. Throw in some hysterical crying and undecipherable mumbling and that makes for a fun week!
Just know that all those feelings you are having are normal and they will come and go, but eventually they will fade and there will be more good than bad. I for one am so blessed to have such an amazing man walking with me through this journey and at times carrying me when I can’t walk on my own. I encourage you to look for the positive and know God works for the good in all things the next time you are in the midst of those infertility struggles. (Philippians 1:6 ESV) And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.