I ‘m sure everyone going through infertility, miscarriage or the adoption process has received the frequent, well-intentioned but extremely insensitive “advice.” If we all sit down for a minute we can rattle off about a dozen, but the most painful to me are “God has a plan” and “Maybe God never meant for you to have children.” I don’t know about you, but it’s good to know that someone has an idea of what God’s plans are. I personally think it’s rude that they know God’s plan and won’t share it with me.Why do people feel that it is helpful to tell someone going through infertility and loss that what they are experiencing is because God has a plan? Really? Is that supposed to comfort me? After my last miscarriage that was/is the last thing I wanted to hear. In my mind, there was no reason that this should be happening to me…again! The funny thing is that these same people would have never said to me when I was diagnosed with cancer “God has a plan and maybe He never meant for you to survive." Now that I am infertile people feel that I am just supposed to move on with my life. Oh, you don’t or can’t have kids, just enjoy it.
Being a believer what do I think the point of our journey through cancer, infertility and miscarriage is for? I cannot even pretend to know the plans of God but I can tell you what I have learned and gained through all of these experiences. My relationship with G is stronger, closer and has a love deeper than I could have ever imagined. I think God has given us the strength, courage, compassion and hope to get back up and face the world after each trial.
I don’t believe that God meant for us to be childless. I believe that we are in this valley to build a desire, a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that we could love ANY child that comes into our lives. I know that one way or another we will be parents and because of our infertility the joy that awaits us will be greater than anything I could imagine! (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”