After my last post I received a couple of requests for “better icebreakers” when it comes to meeting new people. Quite honestly, those old go-to icebreakers are not really a good choice for several reasons; not just because of people going through infertility. There are single people who may feel the same way about the “Are you married?” question. Then of course, the “Do you have kids?” question can be hurtful to more than just infertiles…what about parents who lost a child?
So what are some better suggestions when it comes to those getting to know someone questions? G and I discussed this at length and were trying to figure out the best way to address those old-fashioned icebreakers. We decided years ago, when all of our infertility and miscarriage woes started, that we would be extra aware of how our opening questions would affect those we were meeting. We came up with what we feel is one of the best icebreakers for meeting a new person or couple…”Tell us about your family.” This gives the individual or couple the ability to say as little or as much as they want about their specific situation. Perhaps a single person would say something about their parents and being an only child or their siblings; giving you the understanding that there is not a significant other in the picture. It also allows couples to say as little or as much about their family or lack of having children as they wish.
There are several other questions that have nothing to do with the more intimate part of someone’s life. Some of our favorite “getting to know you” questions are:
- Where did you grow up?
- What do you do for a living?
- Did you go to college? What was your major?
- What do you like to do for fun?
Just remember that you can easily get to know someone better without digging into the truly personal part of their life. If you hit it off you may have the opportunity to get into the more personal questions later in your relationship.